Story Bird: Birdie

Isn’t it truly amazing how birds can attune themselves to their owners’ feelings, moods and general state of being?  I bought Birdie (Jenday Conure) when he was about 3 months old and hand fed him for 10 days until he was completely weaned.  Life was truly unpredictable for Birdie.  Two months after I bought him, my life was turned upside down both emotionally and physically.   We moved into a friend’s house and a month later, I had to leave Birdie with a surrogate mom for 6 weeks.  During the time before I left, Birdie was the best friend I had.   He always knew when I was upset, which was quite frequent at the time… he would even lick my tears and make clucky noises until I laughed.   I had his cage in my room where I was staying and many times I would cuddle with him on the pullout couch watching TV before bed.  The first time I fell asleep while he was still snuggled on me, I awoke in a panic!  He was fine.  It became a regular kind of thing, for him to snuggle under the blankets with me before bed…  soon, it became a regular thing for him to sleep next to me or on me all night.  At first, I would wake up all the time to see where he was and make sure he was okay.

I left him for 6 weeks and when I returned he was so happy to see me, it almost broke my heart.  I feared that he wouldn’t know me anymore.   I returned only to move him all the way across the country by car.  What a little trooper he was.  All this upheaval and he was not even one year old yet.  Needless to say, we were totally bonded.  We were two against the world in a new life. 

Now it seemed, Birdie was always on my shoulder, washing dishes, watching TV, even going to the grocery store.  It seemed only natural that when the sun went down, he would be snuggled under my shirt near me all night.  And yes, he would snuggle in bed with me.  Birdie loved to burrow under the covers and he was such a velcro bird, at bedtime, I could hardly unhinge him from my shirt!  Not that I minded… that adorable little cluck cluck cluck was too much for me to bear being such a softhearted mommy.  So there we were, happy Birdie sleeping with happy mommy, sometimes nibbling at her toes, sometimes in the soft of her side, always making sure mommy got up on time for work… So it was for a happy 2 ½ years.  For some reason, I had forgotten how dangerous this was and just disregarded the warnings I read in magazines.   Birdie had the quickest reflexes; every time I turned over or moved, Birdie adjusted immediately… almost like we had developed our own sleeping rhythm.

Until his death.

I must have gotten too used to sleeping with Birdie, and he must have gotten too used to sleeping with me.  Birdie slept with me, as always, that night.  I am not sure exactly what happened.   I must have rolled over on him… he woke me up by biting me really hard on my finger.  I woke and laughed as I scolded him in the dark.  I went to get a glass of water.  When I returned, I called out his name to get back into bed with out sitting on him.  I didn’t hear anything.  I pulled back the covers a little and saw some smeared poops (Birdie NEVER pooped in the bed.)  I panicked and pulled the covers back further and there was my baby, laying in such a way that I knew he was hurt.  Without going in to the details of the next horrible 10 minutes, I held and stroked my baby until he died.  This little lovable being, my best friend, the one who never judged me and always comforted me and made me laugh, the one who made me feel like I was never alone was gone from my life forever, in only 10 minutes, gone because I had crushed him. 

To the Veterinarian from UC Davis who spoke to me on the phone during the last 2 minutes my Birdie was alive, thank you for being with me, even as strangers over the phone at 3:00 am!  It meant more than I was able to tell you at the time.

(click to enlarge)